Here We Go Again

Regardless of how much I want to be free of thinking about Liam I can’t. Even before I sat to blog this post my horoscope for the day suggested my romantic interest was flaky. We are not into each other anymore; however, seeing that horoscope made me think of all the warning signs. He was a flake…even then.

We work together. I know what it’s like to have a crush on someone or be attracted to someone and not have them reciprocate those feelings. I’m the queen of unrequited love. I did like him from the start; he was cute and sweet. Even now he’s still cute and sweet. He does have a daughter. I’m iffy about men with kids especially because his daughter’s mother is still into him. That chapter for them I believe still isn’t over. I discovered all this after I allowed myself to become attached. Back to unrequited love, I wanted to give that chance to someone I was initially attracted to.

For a moment the attraction was magical. Even though men with kids make me iffy, it didn’t matter because he was sweet. As time went on, I started to feel as though I weren’t enough. He made a passing comment about his daughter’s mother. He said, “My daughter’s mother she keeps breaking my heart.” It was the fact he said it in present tense. That’s when my feelings for him started to recede. He been a paradox to my heart ever since. I am enchanted and disenchanted with him at the same time.

Now we’re in this weird love/hate stare down. Me being me I readily forgave him. He however avoids me at all costs even though I’m okay with just being friends.  Once again I’m in this weird position where my attraction to a guy ends awkwardly and I’m okay with that but he’s not. As the queen of unrequited love, this is nothing new. My brain when it thinks of Liam screams “Here we go again!”

The strangeness of it all is I would readily go through it again.  With all of his flaws I was accepting of him because I have my own flaws. The plus is with my accepting attitude I will easily find someone new. I guess what I’m getting at is, the next time my brain says “Here we go again, ” it should be with a smile.


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